c. 2020 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(1-20)
Dinner.
I had a plate of
mashed potatoes and bacon. Not much of a culinary delight, but a
filling meal, nevertheless. One suited to cap a day of nothingness. I
spoke to my friend Janis twice. Once in the morning, as she was
contemplating a shopping trip to Geneva with her roommate. And once
again, at a later hour, after she had procured a fresh bottle of
Southern Comfort. Jabbering, jawing, sputtering on about needing to
find her car keys. A metaphor for purpose in life.
I pondered my own
schedule while listening.
Doctor appointments
filled our calendar. Several were for her, to address a series of
small strokes she had suffered over the summer. The precipitated
wages of her own self-neglect. She had ignored high blood pressure as
if it had little meaning. Then combined that misdeed with many
cigarettes and a diet rich on sodium and poor on nutrients.
Indifferent and unaffected.
Until her day of
judgment.
A week at University
Hospitals Main Campus, in Cleveland, over the summer, brought her
back to earth. Still rowdy and raucous of course, not calmly sliding
toward personal oblivion. She chugged Dr. Pepper Cherry with
defiance. Yet held tight to my hand.
I knew she was
afraid.
My own reaction to
this reality-shift fermented during the progression of months from
August to January. I found myself calmed by the calendar. By this
orderly march of time from today toward tomorrow. But then, a
familiar habit returned. One that I had lost amid duties and desires.
The visitation of my
personal muse. Dwelling patiently at the bottom of a beverage glass:
Beer after dark
Got a hole in my
heart
Dimple mug at the
ready
Golden pilsner
keeps me steady
I raise my toast
to the night
Drink deep and
delight
Take my part
Beer after dark
Flame from a
spark
Wordsmith at the
keys
Let me sling a
few of these
Phrases in motion
My pen and my
potion
Second start
Beer after dark
My head splits
apart
I got up at
midnight
Today did not
feel right
But the yield was
this rant
Speak of duty to
the sycophant
Tease the tart
Beer after dark
My brush paints
the art
A blessing on
canvas
The world can
kiss my ass
I feel no regret
The paradigm is
set
Make my mark
Beer after dark
A dance with the
aardvark
Sat up at the
desk
After a moment of
rest
I spit words like
teeth
Burned up from
the heat
Let me start
Beer after dark
The insignificant
quark
A step taken
forward
A fall out of
orbit
Coast to Coast AM
plays
My night lasts
for days
Take my part
Beer after dark
Smudged letter
postmark
Here I am at the
station
A dark cloud
divination
I stand at the
door
What am I waiting
for?
To depart
Beer after dark
A bite from a
shark
Swim with the
damned
A floater I am
Cursed to the
tide
With secrets
inside
Bless my heart
Beer after dark
Bow to the
matriarch
My song lives in
echoes
You know how it
goes
From the fields
of Ohio
To New York, set
aglow
I am hard
Beer after dark
The key to my
heart
Inspiration
guaranteed
The northstar
that I need
My compass at the
ready
A guidepost I
will see
Traveling far
Beer after dark
Another case in
my cart
The sweet taste
of nectar
Makes me
steadfast and sure
I rise to the
morning
Hear temple bells
ring
Across the park
Beer after dark
A Word document
start
Black light in
the room
My vision coming
soon
What is unseen
grows clearer
My salvation
comes nearer
On the chart
Beer after dark
A taste of
brewer’s art
Radio news
overnight
Memories keep me
right
A console from
the 30’s
My Philco from a
trash heap
Fixed with parts
Beer after dark
Dozen drinks to
the restart
I sit at my desk
And compose prose
for hecks
Friends are all
sleeping
But my brain is
bleeding
A story arc
Beer after dark
A whim and a lark
Who will read
this poem?
Not sure that I
know them
Yet nothing
matters less
Than a need for
success
Not my part
Beer after dark
This label is my
birthmark
The first taste
of brew
Created the you
What is seen as
myself
A capricious
groundswell
That I are
Beer after dark
A fool lost in
Walmart
Shopping for
words
Whatever I’ve
heard
Marked down or
discarded
Ideas restarted
Dog made to bark
Beer after dark
My writ with the
clark
This session is
over
My plea has been
heard
The mug has gone
empty
No more words in
me
Now I depart
After
2:00 in the morning, I heard rain beginning to fall outside. An odd
refrain for January. Yet one that seemed to compliment my mood. My
feeling of a life out-of-place. I wished for Janis to be awake. So we
could text back and forth like teenagers, while I was writing. At the
age of 58, such silly preoccupations of time felt strangely
appealing.
But
there were no messages from my friend.
Coast
to Coast AM with George Noory still reverberated from my Roku. A
sound that filled the living room, some distance away. I sat at the
desk. My Black Lab lay on the carpet, nearby, snoring like an old
man.
At
last, the night was complete.
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‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com
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