“Senator Joe”

c. 2018 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(6-18)

Aftermath.

Handling the debris scattered by my father’s passing in April of this year has proved to be a daunting task. While no amount of emotional preparation could have helped our family navigate this experience, more planning might have lightened the burden. Still, this sad hour has brought us all closer together than before.

One difficulty we faced repeatedly over the weeks and months that have passed are the legal hurdles blocking access to my father’s financial accounts. When information or action has been required, as we set up Medicaid coverage for our mother, every step has seemed to generate lots of paperwork and verbal conflict. Because the family lived far away, in another state, the challenge of these exercises has only been magnified.

After a particularly unsuccessful visit to the Freedom Bank branch in Philippi, West Virginia, my sister and I returned to the family home and pondered our options. A clerk and supervisor there had offered polite condolences, but none of the details we needed for court papers being filed in Barbour County.

While sharing pepperoni rolls from the nearby Shop n Save, I observed that a letter composed for one of the state’s political representatives might help channel our displeasure into a positive result. Something Dad would be likely to endorse. My sister agreed. As I went to sleep that night, the words began to form in my head. Once we had returned to Ohio, this idea grew into a useful page of prose:

To:

Senator Joe Manchin III

306 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington D.C. 20510

and

900 Pennsylvania Ave., Ste. 629
Charleston, WV 25302

From:

Rodney D. Ice

P. O. Box 365

Chardon, OH 44024

Re: Senior Care

Dear Senator,

I am writing to you about my parents, who lived on Dadisman Drive in Philippi, WV for three decades. My father, Rhoderick, recently passed away at the age of 88, after serving as pastor for the Union Church of Christ. My mother, Gwendolyn, is now a resident of the Mansfield Place nursing home, also in Philippi. Both of them supported you as governor and as senator with great enthusiasm. Throughout life, they truly believed that West Virginia was ‘Almost Heaven!”

We of the Ice family in Ohio have worked to gather the needed information to settle their minimal estate and get guardian/conservator status to help our mom. Meanwhile, our clearing of the old homestead and Dad’s extensive library continues. One issue has come to mind as this process continues – the difficulty families must face in this end-of-life situation.

My father was very ‘old school’ in his habits, handling all the details of family life. One might cheerfully and lovingly say, ‘stubborn to a fault.’ Therefore, his death meant that mantle of responsibility had to be passed forward. As we have visited various institutions on his behalf, the challenges facing survivors and children have become apparent. At the local Freedom Bank, for example, we were unable to obtain information requested by the Barbour County Court, even after displaying our paperwork, because some things were still being processed. In dealing with insurance companies, we encountered a similar situation, not being able to gather all the needed figures to complete our paperwork. Currently, we are still struggling to get Medicare approval (through DHHR) to cover the cost of our mother’s stay in the nursing facility. This is after months of effort and accumulating bills. Again, with no direct access to the needed figures from their accounts.

With hindsight, I reckon this eventuality might have been better handled with more planning. But, parents are not usually likely to surrender their independence without much prodding. In our case, such needs were never easy to discuss.

With all of this in mind, I offer an idea.

My thought is that many may face the same situation in caring for elderly parents. Perhaps, sir, even you. I wonder if some rule or framework might be established to compel institutions and agencies to assist families who are caught in a conundrum like ours, rather than simply quoting policy guidelines. A ‘Rhoderick’s Law’ if you will. As I say, it seems that most of us are likely to encounter this sort of dilemma as we all grow older. Some formal strategy for helping us navigate these issues would benefit everyone.

On behalf of my sister, Rebecca Mihalacki, and my brother, Ronald Ice, I offer sincere thanks for your consideration of this matter. Our best wishes to you and your family!

Regards,

RDI

I mailed the letter shortly afterward. A sense of accomplishment muted the frustration that had been generated from our struggle. The story made for a positive suggestion to Senator Joe. But also, it yielded yet another column in my current online series. A continuation of my newspaper work from yonder days.

I knew Dad would approve.

Comments about ‘Words On The Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

Write us at: P. O. Box 365 Chardon, OH 44024