Desk Haiku

 

“Cane Prayer”

 

c.2020 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(12-20)

 

 

Knees bent

From the wobble of worn joints

To the point

I am middle-aged

Longing for yonder days

When my shuffle from morning to night

Came without the pain

This dip into dark depths of a soul, depressed

I’m in quite a mess

Snow falling and self failing

Chapped hands on the porch railing

Struggling to grip

A soft curse on my lips

Not so long ago

I could swing my hips

Dance down the steps

I’ll never forget

But today I drag my feet like Quasimodo

Ringing the bell

Sunset

The closure of death

I hobble along, panting for my breath

Spirit strong

Still moving along

One foot past the other

I’m the curious brother

Given to rants

And sleeping in athletic pants

I need a chance

A chase through the woods

To reclaim my personhood

My independence, my soul

Before I slip down the rabbit hole

I may have grown old

But there’s still jive in my step

Still a song in my head

Words that need to be said

I’m not ready to be dead

Gimlet in the glass

I’ll take a hard pass

No potion of drink

Can cause me to think

Of anything other than this journey

To the center of me

From surrender, I flee

Let the storms come, with winter days

I’ll meet them over a glass of Tanqueray

And a whispered prayer of hope

I’m walking slow

Not much get up in my go

Yet still I walk

Toward the border wall

Toward the sunrise

Toward the end of night

Toward the rebirth that will negate my hurt

Let me move like a younger man

The one I feel in my core

The one I was in days of yore

Able and affable

Not busted up and laughable

How did I become

A broken son

I never expected to fall

So far from the crystal ball

Here in the snow

Needing grace from the medicine show

Knees and left hip

Giving function the slip

Fatigued

Far from moving usefully

Not long ago

I could walk a mile for a Camel

Work the wood with my Dremel

Dance a jig

Spin the spit for a roast pig

How did it change?

I can’t remember turning the page

Dipping deep into the dark side

Black and white

Limping through the firefight

Swinging, shouting

Another inning on the outing

Never doubting

My desire to find a way back

To the one I was before my bones cracked

Before I became

The neighborhood crank

Stuck in a snowbank

Canes at the ready

To keep me steady

I’ll never fear the fall

Just try to keep my place

My honest face

My last step like Humpty Dumpty

Off the wall

This is my prayer

My siren call

A phone number for Jenny

On the bathroom wall

867-5309

That’s the number I dream

A page from the magazine

Marker stripe

Running right

A detour in my 60’s Ford

They pulled the cord

Now my hospital stay

Has come to a delay

I’m stiff on the bed

Knees shot and shrapnel in my head

It’s all the afterglow

Of going down in the snow

I lost my balance

I spent the chance

To be a better self

When I slipped and fell

“Craigslist Crazy, Part Two”

 

 

c. 2020 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(12-20)

Ashtabula Craigslist. Never boring.

When looking for writing projects during the pandemic, the memory of having perused this rowdy website for ideas in the distant past provided inspiration. As I remembered, every click seemed to offer new layers of oddball opportunities, rants, hook-ups, and shady deals. So on a recent evening, I returned to look again.

Almost immediately, I discovered an unhinged post in the ‘Rants’ section. One likely to have been written in the basement, over a Red Bull and a steaming bowl of Ramen:

ERIE, PA – IT’S ONLY A CHEST COLD, YOU BRAINDEAD ZOMBIES!

“Covid is a chest cold, and kills those who would die from any illness anyway. The death rate for regular healthy people is less than 1%, what the fuck don’t you get? This is being done to murder you, via vaccines, it has been told publicly by Bill Gates, numerous movies, songs, etc., every way you could be told/warned, you were, this mask shit, limiting your freedoms is just part of the agenda, and you retards are going along as expected, you are pissed that your (sic) are inconvenienced, not at why they are doing this to you. Remember the 911 hoax?”

Further research revealed amusing job openings that were advertised. I tried to imagine the sort of person that would reach out with these solicitations. Seedy? Sly? Scandalous rascals with overcoats outstretched, dangling merchandise twinkling in the sun?

Every entry raised my eyebrows:

AKRON, OH – PAID FOOT MASSAGE

“Looking to pay a woman to give a foot massage to. Let me pamper you while you sit back and relax. I hope to be available this week. Please reply with a pic of self and feet and we can set up a time! I’m an attractive young professional.”

MEADVILLE, PA – TV CASTING

“Are you talking to or dating an inmate who’s getting released...? Did you meet them while they were incarcerated? A popular TV series is looking to feature new couples on an upcoming season. If you or someone you know is dating someone who is incarcerated please message. Thanks!”

ERIE, PA – BOOK MODEL

“Book author needs a female model (non-professional acceptable) to demonstrate some exercises – not difficult! $20/hr-cash in hand; plus a bonus for good spirited enthusiastic work. Gymnastic photos. Absolutely nothing offensive. Ladies between 21-30 please respond with ALL of the following: first name, height, weight, and contact phone # (with the best time to call) to the above e-mail address. Applicants MUST attach AT LEAST two photos to be considered – 1 close-up-face and 1 full length; and any others you would like to include would be welcome.”

CLEVELAND, OH – SEEKING NEW TALENT ON POPULAR STREAMING APP (BIGO LIVE)

“We are conducting a nationwide search for the most attractive ladies!! US and Canada submissions only please. This is a life changing opportunity for you to be able to live stream on a global platform! We have live channels with thousands of views per channel. Its a great way to earn money from home while doing the things you are most passionate about. We also have big events and casting agents on the platform who are looking to book new talent in the entertainment business. This job comes with a lot of exposure as well and receiving great compensation. Our top performers earn between $10,000 to $24,000 monthly with bonuses.

Truly entertaining, however, was a post in the personal section. One which sounded a bit farcical, as if written by a character in a 1970’s situation comedy:

FORUMS – MARRIAGE & LTR (LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS) WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD WOMEN?

“Relationships have always come easy to me. I have never chased anyone – past middle school, anyway. There is so much easy sex available to me, and I am pretty old. It is nice and I am not complaining. But the quality of women my age is just not that good. There are beautiful women, smart women, married women, single women, and lots of other great women available to me. But the nasty disgusting attitudes on so many of these women it (is) just off putting these days, to say the least. Just the sense of entitlement and bizarre gender stereotypes are frankly shocking. I could write a book about this but will leave it at this. Where are all the good women?”

A look at the ‘Connections’ page continued this theme. Random shots from the dark, offered with nefarious intent. But one in particular knocked me over with its reckless use of language, almost as if it had been composed at a bar with drunken friends looking on intently:

MEADVILLE, PA – AA FEM LOOKING FOR W 4 M

“Are you seriously here reading these posts, looking to meet somebody to quarantine and chill with?! The only thing left listed below are scam artiest (sic) trying to screw you with money, or guys pretending to be woman to see your Johnson. By simply replying you happen to be putting your security and personal facts about the line! Their very own place left where everyday girls go and the five-o lawfully have to stay away from. That is a good sight (sic) called ‘ONLYCASUALSEX.COM’ just investigation for it on Google and their (sic) there in the number 1 spot. Check it out and see for yourself. You won’t become disappointed!”

A final blast of insanity came from the For-Sale section. It was a simple ad, merely a photo of a handwritten note with words in a heart, and a line of text, below. A solicitation for college women to surrender their panties:

 

MANSFIELD, OH – LOOKING TO SEE WHO IS INTERESTED

“Just seeing what’s out there if you have any interest please contact me with your questions.”

My excursion on Craigslist had once again yielded results that were perfect for a writing project in the WOTL series. I felt satisfied by the result. But also as before, a bit unsettled. To peer beneath the veil of civility was undeniably interesting. Still, this gaze into the abyss made me question the logic of society on the fringe.

I felt glad to be far from civilization, on the eastern edge of Geauga County.

Comments about ‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

Write us at: P. O. Box 365 Chardon, OH 44024

Afternoon Haiku

 

Snow Haiku

 

Tuesday Morning Haiku

 

“Party”

 

c.2020 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(11-20)

 

 

Too late at the party

Guests gone

No voices lifted in song

Homeowners crashed in their bed

Liquor taste burning

Blankets twisting and turning

Restless friends

Brought our celebration to an end

But here I am

In front of a flatscreen

Filled with B-movie scenes

Woozy, wild

A misbehaving child

Been numb for awhile

Here though I should have made my exit

Here I sit

Here, high-hoping

Still interloping

On the couch, a stubborn guest

Lost in my emptiness

Father, mother

Uncles and the rest

Have gone forward to great success

Their stories written

With a Bic pen

On the back of a paper sack from Wegmans

A tale, long over

Yet for me

The night goes on forever

Feeling out of place

Clothes wet with queso stains

Fingers orange with Doritos dust

In God I trust

Full forgiveness is my desire

But to take that step

Time must expire

I wonder why

This prodigal son is still alive

Still sat on the couch

Drinking, drooping

Nodding out

While everyone else has gone home

Why am I here alone?

Undeserving of exception

Nobody’s favorite son

The celebration

Hours ago was done

Yet on I go, waiting for the sunrise

With bloodshot eyes

I should have died

In that bathtub on Fayette Street

Ithaca, New York

Body taxed with liquor and failure

Abandoned in a wash of bagged ice

God intervened

For whatever reason

It was not my time

Not my season

So here I remain

Long after midnight

Snacks gone stale

Beer cans floating in melted frost

And I ask with widened eyes

“Why why why?”

What miracle kept breath in my lungs

When the party was done?

I am alive

Still on the ride

But God should have let me die

By and by

Slip, slide, and glide

This is what I feel inside

From a Cornell apprenticeship

To West State Street hip

I wore my leather for the camera lens

Went on the air with my friends

Thought the season would never end

Dead Boys and Ramones

Live callers on the telephone

The Clash and Sham 69

We’d go on all night

Till I woke up, middle-aged and bent

Living on a check from the government

Walking with canes

Cataracts and lost contacts

Velcro shoes

Chin wet with Lite beer drool

The leftover yield of a rat in the field

Never to heal

Kick, stomp, and step

This will I never forget

My run with the video artists

The Finger Lakes Jet Set

Now at an end

I sit here alone with cold cigarette butts

Half-empty drinks, abandoned in the sink

The last one awake

What kind of mistake

Keeps me here

Drinking the last beer

Drowning my angst

Until this night

Has passed

 

Written on my iPhone SE