c. 2020 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(10-20)
The Setting: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; the White House master suite bedroom
The Players: Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States; Karma, spirit of cause and effect; Melania Trump, First Lady of the United States
Morning breaks over Washington, D. C. with a gentle streak of yellow between the curtains. President Trump rolls restlessly in his bedding after Melania has awakened, and gone to begin her morning routine. Suddenly, a golden glow fills the room. A spinning, endless knot brings more illumination. Glistening and gilded with strands of pure energy. Then, a booming voice crackles through the air.
Karma: “DONALD! AWAKEN TO MY PRESENCE, MORTAL MAN!”
Donald Trump: (Still groggy) “What? Who? This damn virus is tougher than I thought… very tough.”
Karma: (Laughing) “ATTEND ME WITH YOUR EYES! LOOK AND MARVEL AT MY POWER!”
Trump: (Sitting up in bed) “What is this, a Halloween trick? Or just the COVID in my lungs?”
Karma: “I am here to judge you, Donald. To punish your ignorance. To let you wallow in the yield of your own hubris!”
Trump: (Stiffening) “Punish?”
Karma: “Yessss… I delight in watching recklessness precipitate doom. It is my purpose in being.”
Trump: (Rubbing his eyes) “Rudy Giuliani, if this is a Halloween prank, so help me...”
Karma: (Brightening with intensity) “THIS IS NO TRICK, DONALD TRUMP!”
Trump: “I’ve seen tricks, lots of tricks, believe me.”
Karma: “I can assure you, nothing in your pathetic life can equal my punitive presence!”
Trump: (Holding his head) “I’ve dealt with Nervous Nancy since her party took the House of Representatives. You can’t scare me. Nancy getting her hair done, that scared me, no makeup at the salon, that was scary!”
Karma: (Amused) “Idiot! You live on insults. Now, you will drown in them...”
Trump: (Defiant) “Not drowning. Not going to drown. Fake news!”
Karma: “Look at your Twitter feed! A tsunami of opinion has begun. Boiling rage, spilling from the smartphone screens! They are ugly, I admit. I do not endorse them. But swim Donald! Flap your flabby limbs! Swim against the tide, the waves of disgust...”
Trump: (Shaking his head) “I need a Diet Coke.”
Karma: “Cause and effect, Donald. You have trapped yourself in an endless loop of sin and its wages being paid. Over and over and over again!”
Trump: (Still not convinced) “Damn it, Rudy!”
Karma: “I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND RUDY!”
Trump: (Coughing) “I feel better than I did 20 years ago, much better.”
Karma: “LIES! YOU FOOLISH, FOOLISH MAN!”
Trump: “I was foolish marrying Melania. Hope Hicks is absolutely stunning. Stunning hot, hotter than hot, believe me. But I think she gave me the Coronavirus.”
Karma: (Radiating anger) “YOU ARE A SOULLESS WASTE OF FLESH!”
Trump: (Snorting) “You really do sound like Nervous Nancy. Just like her, by the way, very much like her.”
Karma: (Seething) “She prays for you and your family, every day. As a good Catholic and human being. And you repay her with taunts? With insults?”
Trump: (Coughing again) “The Pope wouldn’t want her, nobody wants her, wait till the election. She isn’t loyal, doesn’t follow their teaching. We’re going to do very well, I think, going to have a huuuuuuuge victory, like we did over Hillary.”
Karma: (Frustrated) “DOES NOTHING IMPRESS YOU? YOU ARE SICK, DONALD! SICKER THAN YOU REALIZE! BE CAREFUL!”
Trump: (Sweating) “Not sick, that’s why I came home from Walter Reed Hospital. Not sick at all. Ready to go back to work, just like America...”
Karma: (With disbelief) “ARE YOU CAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING CONTRITION, MORTAL MAN?”
Trump: (Smiling) “I’m a winner. I win all the time, every day. A winn-er.”
Karma: (Going pale) “Okay… okay. What if your energy is vanquished by the virus? What if it costs you at the ballot box? What then you arrogant, mango-hued man?”
Trump: (Nodding) “Not a loser. Never, never, never.”
Karma: (Enraged) “FEEL THE SICKNESS IN YOUR BODY!”
Trump: “No, no sickness really, just like having a cold. Maybe I’m immune? I don’t know. I took Remdisivir, took Dexamethasone. I even wore a mask, for the cameras, wore it proudly. Like a boss I wore it.”
Karma: (Sputtering) “Nothing fazes you. Damn hard-headed fool! I have filled your streets with chaos, flooded your airwaves with images of collapse, pricked and prodded you, preached to you, set you on fire… and still you defy me!”
Trump: (Shrugging) “I’m a winner. Always a winner I am, I do it always. I win bigly.”
Karma: (Shaking) “How? How can you possibly be so numb to reality? So numb to the stench of your own body? How is it possible?”
Trump: (Pushing back his rowdy wave of dyed hair) “I am Donald J. Trump. It is what it is...”
Karma: (Fading to black) “GODDDDD I HATE THIS MAN! THIS MORONIC, ORANGE OAF! I AM MASTER OF CONSEQUENCES! NOT A LOSER! THIS CAN’T BE REAL! LET ME OUT OF WASHINGTON AND OUT OF THIS WASTED LIFE, FOREVERRR!!!”
Smoke fills the bedroom, then dissipates as the visitor vanishes.
Trump: (Finally awake) “Melania! Melania, do you hear me? Did you hear any of that? Come here!”
Melania Trump: (Robe flowing as she walks, briskly) “Donald, what is wrong with you?”
Trump: (More sweating) “It was like watching ‘A Christmas Carol.’ Somebody played a joke on me, not a funny joke, not funny, really. They claimed to be Karma. I think it was another Democrat hoax...”
Melania: (Feeling his forehead) “You must have a fever. Stay in bed for the morning. I’ll have them bring you breakfast. You’ve got to rest.”
Trump: (Slumped against his pillow) “I’ve got work to do, can’t be under the covers like Sleepy Joe!”
Melania: (Gestures for effect) “Rest. Election Day is getting closer. You’ll have a lot to do, whatever happens.”
Trump: (Pulling the blanket around his shoulders) “I a lot of winning to do… winning… winning bigly, all I do is win!”
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