“Impeachment Fail”

c. 2020 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-20)

The Location: The White House Oval Office, Washington, D.C.

The Players: Donald J. Trump, 45^th President of the United States; Mick Mulvaney, White House Chief of Staff.

Mick Mulvaney: “Good morning, Mr. President.”

Donald Trump: “A very good morning, Mick. Very good. More good than bad. Bad for the Democrats, believe me. Very bad. Did you bring me a Coke?”

M. Mulvaney: “Sir I am not a waiter. I am your Chief of Staff...”

D. Trump: “The Democrats don’t like Coke. They want everyone to drink imported water.”

M. Mulvaney: “Adam Schiff and his crew are upset about Mitch McConnell. They are spinning this as a dark day for democracy, sir.”

D. Trump: “Dark day? It gets dark when Nervous Nancy has one of her tantrums. When she ripped up my speech. I feel nothing but sunshine, Mick. The sun shining. Shining on Mar-a-Lago and on me. Me the winner. Acquitted and winning again.”

M. Mulvaney: “I am told her fundraising for the Democratic Party has exploded...”

D. Trump: “Fake news! Faker than anything from China! The Coronavirus came from China, Mick. You can’t trust them. That is why I imposed my tariffs.”

M. Mulvaney: “Yes, Mr. President.”

D. Trump: “I saw somebody put a picture of me on Twitter. A fake picture, very fake. A guy called William Moon, that has to be Crying Chuck or Nervous Nancy, maybe Shifty Adam Schiff...”

M. Mulvaney: “The photo has gone viral, sir.”

D. Trump: “I win and they put out more fake pictures. Photoshopped. They want to demean me. Because I am winning. Winning bigly.”

M. Mulvaney: “The House of Representatives intends to subpoena John Bolton. I am afraid that won’t be a win for you, sir.”

D. Trump: “I was acquitted. Did you read the headline, Mick? Acquitted. What a headline. A beautiful headline. Beautiful.”

M. Mulvaney: “Mr. President, it seems that this is far from over.”

D. Trump: (Grabbing a newspaper on his desk) “Acquitted. Do you see this headline? Acquitted. I was acquitted. Not guilty. Not removed. Not a loser.”

M. Mulvaney: “Yes sir. But Speaker Pelosi says you will always carry the stain of impeachment.”

D. Trump: (Angry) “Nancy is sick. Like Shifty Schiff. Like all the Democrats. Sick and horrible. Sick like Mitt Romney.”

M. Mulvaney: “Mr. President, CNN and the New York Times are cheering Romney as a hero.”

D. Trump: (Red faced) “Mitt is a loser. His dad made loser cars, AMC, remember the Gremlin? A horrible car. Horrible.”

M. Mulvaney: “Some people are praising his courage...”

D. Trump: “Loser people, people who like losing. I am a winner, I won on impeachment, I won on Kavanaugh, I win all the time. I won giving Rush Limbaugh the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I will win in November.”

M. Mulvaney: “That is our plan, sir.”

D. Trump: “I won in Iran, I won with China. Not easy to win with China, China is tough, so many Chinamen, but I won.”

M. Mulvaney: “Joe Biden is sagging in the polls. We have to work out a new strategy, sir. Can you defeat Bernie Sanders or Pete Buttigieg?”

D. Trump: “Sleepy Joe, I have been telling people he was sleepy.”

M. Mulvaney: “Sanders has a lot of supporters.”

D. Trump: “Crazy Bernie. Crazy, crazy. Socialist Bernie, Comrade Bernie.”

M. Mulvaney: “What about Buttigieg?”

D. Trump: “A mayor. Mayor of a city. People can’t spell his name, how will they vote for a guy like that? A guy who’s name you can’t spell. He looks like Dennis the Menace with dark hair, believe me...”

M. Mulvaney: (Frustrated) “Some say a new generation is ready to take over. Like Greta Thunberg. Like David Hogg. We have to be ready...”

D. Trump: (Laughing) “Greta, the girl from where? From Sweden? With the braids? She is scary, actually, look at her. Scary. Like a girl from a horror movie, I think.”

The telephone rings loudly. Mr. Mulvaney answers, impatiently.

M. Mulvaney: “Mr. President, I have Oliver Luck waiting outside. He is commissioner of the reborn XFL football league, backed by WWE CEO Vince McMahon.”

D. Trump: “Oliver Luck? From Cleveland, that guy? A loser city, the Browns are terrible, horrible really. Why did you invite him here?”

M. Mulvaney: “Sir, I think we can gain some insight from Mr. Luck.”

D. Trump: “Mick, you have some crazy ideas. Just crazy.”

M. Mulvaney: “Hear me out, Mr. President. This makes a lot of sense for 2020. We need to understand how true winners overcome the odds. The reborn XFL has huge disadvantages against established professional football. Just like you have the same against Hollywood, the educational system, liberal elites, government bureaucrats, the New York Times, MSNBC, CNN, and so forth.”

D. Trump: “I have to fight hard, every day.”

M. Mulvaney: (Speaking into the phone) “Send in Mr. Luck!”

A silent moment passes. The Chief of Staff looks around, outside the Oval Office door.

D. Trump: “Get him in here, Mick!”

M. Mulvaney (Embarrassed) “Sir, he appears to have left.”

D. Trump: “This is bullshit! Like the impeachment hoax!”

M. Mulvaney (On the phone again) “Hello, Miss Secretary? Hello? Where the hell is Oliver Luck? Where is he??”

D. Trump: “Mick, this is a waste of time. Get me a damn Coke!”

M. Mulvaney: “Sir, Mr. Luck appears to have bailed out on us. He got cold feet. Your secretary thinks that Roger Goodell called his cell phone.”

D. Trump: “Damn them, it’s just like Pete Rozelle treated me when I owned the USFL New Jersey Generals. They are afraid, always afraid of me. Keeping me locked out of a merger. Because I am a winner!”

M. Mulvaney: (Bowing his head) “Yes, sir. You are a winner.”

D. Trump: “Winning. That is what I do. Winning big! Every day, winning!”

M. Mulvaney: “Yes, Mr. President.”

Comments about ‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

Write us at: P. O. Box 365 Chardon, OH 44024