c. 2020 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(2-20)
The Location: The
White House Oval Office, Washington, D.C.
The Players: Donald
J. Trump, 45th President of the United States; Mick
Mulvaney, White House Chief of Staff.
Mick Mulvaney: “Good
morning, Mr. President.”
Donald Trump: “A
very good morning, Mick. Very good. More good than bad. Bad for the
Democrats, believe me. Very bad. Did you bring me a Coke?”
M. Mulvaney: “Sir
I am not a waiter. I am your Chief of Staff...”
D. Trump: “The
Democrats don’t like Coke. They want everyone to drink imported
water.”
M. Mulvaney: “Adam
Schiff and his crew are upset about Mitch McConnell. They are
spinning this as a dark day for democracy, sir.”
D. Trump: “Dark
day? It gets dark when Nervous Nancy has one of her tantrums. When
she ripped up my speech. I feel nothing but sunshine, Mick. The sun
shining. Shining on Mar-a-Lago and on me. Me the winner. Acquitted
and winning again.”
M. Mulvaney: “I am
told her fundraising for the Democratic Party has exploded...”
D. Trump: “Fake
news! Faker than anything from China! The Coronavirus came from
China, Mick. You can’t trust them. That is why I imposed my
tariffs.”
M. Mulvaney: “Yes,
Mr. President.”
D. Trump: “I saw
somebody put a picture of me on Twitter. A fake picture, very fake. A
guy called William Moon, that has to be Crying Chuck or Nervous
Nancy, maybe Shifty Adam Schiff...”
M. Mulvaney: “The
photo has gone viral, sir.”
D. Trump: “I win
and they put out more fake pictures. Photoshopped. They want to
demean me. Because I am winning. Winning bigly.”
M. Mulvaney: “The
House of Representatives intends to subpoena John Bolton. I am afraid
that won’t be a win for you, sir.”
D. Trump: “I was
acquitted. Did you read the headline, Mick? Acquitted. What a
headline. A beautiful headline. Beautiful.”
M. Mulvaney: “Mr.
President, it seems that this is far from over.”
D. Trump: (Grabbing
a newspaper on his desk) “Acquitted. Do you see this headline?
Acquitted. I was acquitted. Not guilty. Not removed. Not a loser.”
M. Mulvaney: “Yes
sir. But Speaker Pelosi says you will always carry the stain of
impeachment.”
D. Trump: (Angry)
“Nancy is sick. Like Shifty Schiff. Like all the Democrats. Sick
and horrible. Sick like Mitt Romney.”
M. Mulvaney: “Mr.
President, CNN and the New York Times are cheering Romney as a hero.”
D. Trump: (Red
faced) “Mitt is a loser. His dad made loser cars, AMC, remember the
Gremlin? A horrible car. Horrible.”
M. Mulvaney: “Some
people are praising his courage...”
D. Trump: “Loser
people, people who like losing. I am a winner, I won on impeachment,
I won on Kavanaugh, I win all the time. I won giving Rush Limbaugh
the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I will win in November.”
M. Mulvaney: “That
is our plan, sir.”
D. Trump: “I won
in Iran, I won with China. Not easy to win with China, China is
tough, so many Chinamen, but I won.”
M. Mulvaney: “Joe
Biden is sagging in the polls. We have to work out a new strategy,
sir. Can you defeat Bernie Sanders or Pete Buttigieg?”
D. Trump: “Sleepy
Joe, I have been telling people he was sleepy.”
M. Mulvaney:
“Sanders has a lot of supporters.”
D. Trump: “Crazy
Bernie. Crazy, crazy. Socialist Bernie, Comrade Bernie.”
M. Mulvaney: “What
about Buttigieg?”
D. Trump: “A
mayor. Mayor of a city. People can’t spell his name, how will they
vote for a guy like that? A guy who’s name you can’t spell. He
looks like Dennis the Menace with dark hair, believe me...”
M. Mulvaney:
(Frustrated) “Some say a new generation is ready to take over. Like
Greta Thunberg. Like David Hogg. We have to be ready...”
D. Trump: (Laughing)
“Greta, the girl from where? From Sweden? With the braids? She is
scary, actually, look at her. Scary. Like a girl from a horror movie,
I think.”
The telephone rings
loudly. Mr. Mulvaney answers, impatiently.
M. Mulvaney: “Mr.
President, I have Oliver Luck waiting outside. He is commissioner of
the reborn XFL football league, backed by WWE CEO Vince McMahon.”
D. Trump: “Oliver
Luck? From Cleveland, that guy? A loser city, the Browns are
terrible, horrible really. Why did you invite him here?”
M. Mulvaney: “Sir,
I think we can gain some insight from Mr. Luck.”
D. Trump: “Mick,
you have some crazy ideas. Just crazy.”
M. Mulvaney: “Hear
me out, Mr. President. This makes a lot of sense for 2020. We need to
understand how true winners overcome the odds. The reborn XFL has
huge disadvantages against established professional football. Just
like you have the same against Hollywood, the educational system,
liberal elites, government bureaucrats, the New York Times, MSNBC,
CNN, and so forth.”
D. Trump: “I have
to fight hard, every day.”
M. Mulvaney:
(Speaking into the phone) “Send in Mr. Luck!”
A silent moment
passes. The Chief of Staff looks around, outside the Oval Office
door.
D. Trump: “Get him
in here, Mick!”
M. Mulvaney
(Embarrassed) “Sir, he appears to have left.”
D. Trump: “This is
bullshit! Like the impeachment hoax!”
M. Mulvaney (On the
phone again) “Hello, Miss Secretary? Hello? Where the hell is
Oliver Luck? Where is he??”
D. Trump: “Mick,
this is a waste of time. Get me a damn Coke!”
M. Mulvaney: “Sir,
Mr. Luck appears to have bailed out on us. He got cold feet. Your
secretary thinks that Roger Goodell called his cell phone.”
D. Trump: “Damn
them, it’s just like Pete Rozelle treated me when I owned the USFL
New Jersey Generals. They are afraid, always afraid of me. Keeping me
locked out of a merger. Because I am a winner!”
M. Mulvaney: (Bowing
his head) “Yes, sir. You are a winner.”
D. Trump: “Winning.
That is what I do. Winning big! Every day, winning!”
M. Mulvaney: “Yes,
Mr. President.”
Comments about
‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com
Write us at: P.
O. Box 365 Chardon, OH 44024
