“Retail Worker Confessions”

c. 2019 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(6-19)

Perfect storm.

The term is one used to describe a confluence of events that precipitates a happening of consequence. Often, a natural disaster or moment of political revolution. But for this writer, I pondered these words recently, while using the social-media platform of Facebook.

I was invited to a group called “Retail Worker Confessions.” One apparently run out of the U. K. but populated by a good deal of Yankees like myself from across the big pond. A friend who I had known during days at Fisher’s Big Wheel and Giant Eagle sent the invite. She thought I might enjoy reading the colorful posts during bouts of lonely angst brought on by my early retirement from a career of store management.

I cheerfully accepted the group’s query and joined right away.

Upon reading through their creative texts for the first time, I discovered a wealth of familiar themes. Rude customers, abusive managers, chaotic middle-of-the-business-day occurrences. Plus, stories of boredom, pranks, improper workplace relationships, and drama.

After 33 years in the field, it was easy to offer comments. Though mine were a tad longer and composed more carefully. With a sense of both relief and personal release, I began to opine on various issues that the other members were discussing:

F. W. - “I may have made the worst hiring decision of my career. My new ASM has got into shouting matches with customers, associates, and my other manager, and yesterday, she basically walked off the job...”

My Response: “Documentation is key. As one company owner told me, ‘You build walls just like building a house.’ Since this person walked off the job, it constitutes a voluntary quit. The actions you describe by her are self-centered, disruptive, and completely unprofessional.”

C. G. (Texas) - “Ain’t nobody faker than your boss when the people from corporate office come to visit...”

My Response: “So true, performing the role with dedication. In many instances, the people from corporate were individuals promoted from the store level. At my first retail chain, our district manager had previously been in charge of our store. He knew the level of fakeness because he had skillfully employed it before. More than just looking for good conditions in our business, he was looking for managers that knew how to play the game.”

K. Z. (Minnesota) - “Meme - When a customer calls the store and gives you their life story before getting to the point of the call.”

My Response: “I often used to get the disclaimer about a customer having worked in retail or being connected to a company: ‘I or my brother/sister/aunt/uncle/father/mother/cousin/etc. was a supervisor for Kroger/Sears/Walmart/Target for 30 years, so I know exactly what you should do to solve my problem.’ This normally involved handing over gift cards or other rewards. When I spoke about following corporate guidelines regarding customer satisfaction, the conversation could and often would become more heated. But the results were the same.”

H. L. (Illinois) - “I found my orientation packet from a year ago, LOL. The Ten Commandments of Customer Relations. Our Customers… 1) Are the most important people in our business. 2) Are not dependent on us - we are dependent on them. 3) Are not interruptions of our work – they are the purpose of it. 4) Do us an honor when they call – we are not doing them a favor. 5) Are parts of our business – not outsiders. 6) Are not cold statistics – they are flesh-and-blood human beings with feelings and emotions like our own. 7) Are not people to argue or match wits with. 8) Are people who bring us their needs – and it is our job to fill those needs. 9) Are deserving of the most courteous and attentive treatment we can give them. 10) Have the right to expect an employee to present a neat, clean appearance.”

My Response: “Love them or hate them, they pay the bills. I have closed several stores in my career of 33 years. Without customers, no business can survive.”

J. T. (New Jersey) - “Meme – Company: Treats employees like s***. Employees: Quit. Company: Look of astonishment and surprise.”

My Response: “Makes me recall when a member of our overnight grocery crew was being threatened by an abusive store manager. The boss spewed four-letter words and waved his fists. So my co-worker said ‘Aw hell, I’m quitting anyway.’ Suddenly, our manager’s attitude changed completely. He turned shades of red. “No, no, please don’t screw me! Please!’”

J. B. (United Kingdom) - “Meme: Bosshole – A person who turns into an ass**** ten seconds after being made supervisor.”

My Response: “Reminds me of a store where the general manager had once been a stocker on night crew. His only location with the chain. I was the co-manager with years of corporate experience. He would project an attitude of complete superiority. But one older employee remembered: ‘When he was on 3^rd shift, they made him fill the bread and sweep up the store. No one trusted him to do anything else.’”

P. F. J. - “Meme: When you enforce policy and the customer gets upset.”

My Response - “Always important to maintain balance when handling customer situations. But in certain instances, for example, regarding sales of alcohol and tobacco, state regulations must be followed without exception. Customers often assume that raising their decibel level to a shouting pitch will get results. It doesn’t. Calls to the 1-800 customer hotline yield only a reinforcement of the regulations under which we operate.”

Many posts in the group were repeated, or were copies of those available generally in cyberspace. Still, I found myself commenting on various items that sparked personal reflection. After three decades and more of service in the industry, finding inspiration was not difficult. My only irritation was from those offering stories of sabotage or willful laziness. I reckoned a lesson on basic economics would have been helpful in their education. To be paid, one must work. To survive, a store must sell products. The goal is simple. Earn a profit for the company, be rewarded with a paycheck. Go home afterward and be grateful.

When motivating my crew, I would sometimes use naked honesty to get their attention. Once I confessed: “Look everybody, I don’t want to be here any more than you. I want to go home, open a beer and a bag of Doritos, and watch ESPN. But the only way to do that is for us all to get our duty list accomplished. Busy days go more quickly than slow ones. So let’s get to work!”

It was an admission appropriate for my new Facebook group. One I was likely to offer at a future date, when the timing and subject matter were aligned with synchronicity.

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