"The Velvet Elvis" (revised)

c. 1998 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(7-98)

Note To Readers: Recently, I have been going through a box of 1.44 MB diskettes from my old home office in Painesville. What follows here is the fifth column from my ‘Thoughts At Large’ newspaper series, which ran in the Geauga County Maple Leaf from 1998-2014. The velvet painting that inspired this manuscript has been lost to the foggy realm of history.

Recently, I bought an important treasure for the basement of our home. This multi-

purpose cavern serves well as a library, office, display area, underground restaurant, and

occasional recording studio. Now, I can also think of our subterranean room in a different

context, as it has become something of an art gallery. The purchased item was a portrait of the

late cultural icon, Elvis Presley, rendered on a canvas of cheap velvet!

Such paintings always seemed to appear at filling stations, and roadside markets.

Were they sold anywhere else? Mine bears an irrefutable mark of authenticity. On the reverse

side of it's frame is stamped: 'Hecho En Mexico'!

As a collectible, their value is dubious. Does a plastic, pink flamingo hold any great

worth? You may consider this tribute to 'The King' a cruelty, or a joke. Still, there had always

been yearning in my heart for one of my very own! In the center of a truck-stop shrine, this cloth

creation might prove useful in spreading goodwill, and cheer. The citizen's-band airwaves

could crackle with a throaty "Thank you! Thank you very much!" But, on the basement wall,

it strikes a pose across from an autographed poster of Dolly Parton. They frame the entrance

to our burrow with rhinestones, and screaming polyester!

In the traditions of Greek mythology, Elvis was beautiful, and gifted. But a flawed

creature, indeed! With similar imperfections is the velvet painting. A bit of the hip-shaker's

mouth was missing, perhaps owing to the fact that I had to transport our artifact home from a

local flea market on my Harley-Davidson. (Hey, Big 'E' himself rode a variety of Milwaukee's

finest, so such a mode of conveyance should provide no insult!) My wife offered first-aid with a bit of makeup to dab the offended lip, and it looks correct. Well, almost!!

The Velvet Elvis is Takin' Care of Business among a court of fellow members in the

heavenly hall of fame. John Lennon is at his side, and Keith Moon. Roy Buchanan, and Faron

Young are nearby. Jerry Garcia waits in the form of a concert button. But this a chapel of

Memphis devotion. There will always be rockin' in our jailhouse!.

Central to the faith of many devotees is a belief that Elvis still walks among us, today.

The Hound Dog is constantly viewed in pizza parlors, and donut shops, around the nation. His

rich legacy seems not enough for many. They are satisfied only with the thought that he will

return to glory, and conquer again!

But whether his Wooden Heart still beats like a 'Hunk-O Hunk-O Burnin' Love', I know

that he is alive in the manner of Zeus and lesser deities, on Mount Olympus! He lives in the

form of a dancing clock over our bar (a gift from my sister), in a metal reproduction of a

Tennessee license plate (bought at Graceland), and in a bottle of 'Elvis Cologne Spray' (which

came with a guitar-shaped belt buckle)... as it says,"For All The King's Men!" A retail value of

$17.50, available for a pittance at an oldster's garage in Western Pennsylvania, while on the

way to Flip Side Records, in Meadville!

My son is of a generation too youthful to understand the transcendent nature of our

Velvet Elvis. He has reserved comment on the portrait. Still, there is that "You guys are weird!"

look in his gaze. Perhaps we are moody for a simpler time? Does the painting revive thoughts

of rear-wheel drive, Ed Sullivan presenting The Beatles, the 45 RPM supremacy of vinyl, and

Converse All Stars as choice footwear for the masses?

If so, we can be forgiven. Still, it is easy to imagine that, twenty years from now, he

might stumble across a surreal, balsa-wood frame filled with the troubled image of Kurt Cobain.

And in a moment of weakness, peel a few dollar bills from his wallet…

Postscript: After it appeared in the GCML, I also submitted this column to Cleveland Scene and other publications, unsuccessfully. 

Comments or questions about ‘Words On The Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

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