“The Dissident Chef Returns”

c. 2017 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(7-17)

Revolution. Born of grit and gunpowder. Or perhaps, a knife and fork?

Much has been written about the creeping control of ‘political correctness’ on our modern society. An artificial paradigm enforced with good intentions, yet often, yielding woeful results. Less talked about is the similar nature of modern dietary discipline. The march of kale, ancient grains and seaweed into kitchens across America has some thrilled with foodie glee. But those who remember a time when blue-collar habits were the norm yearn for liberty on their dinner plate. Grilling out is often ‘poo pooed’ as being unfriendly to the environment. Roasting meats is likened to swinging the truncheon in a prison camp. Creating homemade pork rinds is cause for apoplexy. Traditional diner fare must be reinvented with oats and flaxseed meal, to avoid being exorcised altogether.

Into this changing, unfamiliar world, the original ‘Dissident Chef’s Cookbook’ exploded, nearly ten years ago. It was an effort by this writer to catalog some of the culinary ideas that were loose in the ether. Like fireworks on Independence Day, each recipe offered a burst of authentic national pride and rebellion. A raised middle digit to the notion that citizens should cook only what the intelligentsia approve.

What follows here are more examples of this outlaw vibe, ready to be prepared on your stove top:

Rod’s Retirement Breakfast (My personal creation)

Ingredients -

Two eggs

Frozen burrito (Tina’s Red Hot Beef is my favorite)

Sausage links, bacon or ham

American cheese

Italian bread for toast, or hash brown patties

Vegetable oil, divided

Directions -

Prepare breakfast meat in a large skillet with oil and set aside. Fry eggs in a separate skillet with more of the oil. Meanwhile, place frozen burrito in microwave for one minute on high power. When eggs are done, fry burrito till golden brown in the remaining oil. Top burrito with American cheese when it is close to being ready. Allow to melt. Serve all with toast or hash browns as desired.

Bologna Potato Soup (Allrecipes.com)

Ingredients -

1 onion, peeled

2 cans (15 ounce) cut green beans, with liquid

1 ½ lb. Of bologna, cut into pieces

8 potatoes, peeled and cubed

4 quarts water

Salt and ground black pepper to taste

½ cup cornstarch

½ cup cold water

Directions -

Place water in a 6 quart (or larger) pot. Bring to a boil. Place whole onion and bologna into the water and boil for 30 minutes, adding more water as needed. Add potatoes and cook until tender. Remove onion and add the beans. Whisk the cornstarch and cold water together and also add. Cook until thickened. (Slice onion, reintroduce to the soup.)

Fideo With Vienna Sausages (readyseteat.com)

Ingredients -

2 tbsp. Vegetable oil

¼ cup chopped green bell pepper

¼ cup chopped yellow onion

2 small cans Vienna Sausages, drained and cut into ½ inch pieces

7 ounces dry Fideo macaroni, uncooked

1 tsp. Finely chopped garlic

3 cans (8 ounce each) tomato sauce

1 cup water

Directions -

Step One, heat 1 tbsp. oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add bell pepper, onion and sausages, cook 3 to 5 minutes or until browned. Remove from skillet; set aside.

Step Two, Add remaining 1 tbsp. oil, Fideo pasta and garlic to skillet. Stir to coat pasta with oil; cook over medium heat 1 to 2 minutes or until pasta is golden brown, stirring constantly.

Step Three, stir in tomato sauce and water; return sausage mixture to skillet. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover and simmer 10 minutes until pasta is tender.

(Note: Fideo is a short, thin strand of pasta found in Mexican or Hispanic sections of a grocery store. If unavailable, angel hair pasta, broken into short pieces, may be substituted.)

Pork Rind Pizza (food.com)

Ingredients -

8 ounces cream cheese, softened

4 large eggs

1 cup ground pork rinds

¼ cup Parmesan cheese

2 cups shredded Italian cheese

½ tbsp. Italian spices

½ tbsp. garlic powder

Directions -

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Mix cream cheese, eggs, seasonings and Italian cheese. Mix well. Add pork rinds last. (This will be a very thick mixture.) Plop the dough onto a heavily Pam-sprayed pizza pan, or cover a pan with parchment paper. Cover with plastic wrap or a layer of wax paper and roll or pat out to edges. Bake the crust for 20 minutes, remove from oven and let stand 10 minutes. Add your favorite pizza sauce, shredded cheese and desired toppings. Bake again until bubbly. Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving.

Beer Bread (food.com)

Ingredients -

3 cups flour (sifted)

3 tsp. Baking powder (omit if using self-rising flour)

1 tsp. Salt (omit if using self-rising flour)

¼ cup sugar

1 (12 ounce) can of beer

½ cup melted butter

Directions -

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix dry ingredients and beer. Pour into a greased loaf pan. Pour melted butter over mixture. Bake 1 hour, remove from pan and cool for at least 15 minutes. (If you prefer a softer crust like traditional bread, mix the butter into the batter instead of pouring it over the top.)

Rod’s Retirement Nachos (Another favorite treat)

Ingredients -

1 jar cilantro salsa

1 bag of tortilla chips

1 container (16 ounce) sour cream

1 can (15 ounce) pinto beans

1 jar sliced jalapenos

1 small can of black olives, sliced

1 jar cheese salsa or queso

Hot sauce (Texas Pete or Frank’s Red Hot) as desired

Directions -

Cook pinto beans until hot. Line a dinner plate with tortilla chips. In the middle of your plate, spoon beans as a garnish. Top with the remaining ingredients, adding sour cream last. Enjoy!

Rod's Ranch Onion Dip (My recipe from the 1980's)

Ingredients -
 

1 16oz container Sour Cream (Heluva brand is best)

2-3 tablespoons Hellmann"s mayonnaise

1 pkg Ranch Salad Dressing Mix

1 pkg Campbell's Onion Soup Mix

Sprinkle of Garlic powder

Directions - 

Mix all together. Let set in fridge for several hours.

Serve

 

Political dissent has been called a sacred right of American citizens. No less important is the dissent of those who choose the less-traveled path to culinary satisfaction by concocting rowdy dishes in their home kitchens. To cook freely is to speak freely.

“Vive la resistance!”

Comments or questions about ‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

Write us at: P.O. Box 365 Chardon, OH 44024

Published weekly in the Geauga Independent