“No Market: Chapter Two”

c. 2017 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(4-17)

“Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there’s a good chance that nobody is reading my column.” - Dave Barry

Recently, a friend in the industry offered an observation that I hadn’t heard in many years: “There is no market for a column like yours.”

It was an echo of yonder days that made me smile. Many years ago, I interviewed with the editor of a successful daily in Lake County. I had arrived with copies of my writing work, along with issues of my weekly journal from Chardon. Friends and family members were excited. It seemed that I was about to ‘hit a home run’ with this seasoned member of the press. My professional writing career, at that time, had already encompassed working for a variety of journals. I had literally started pecking out stories on a toy typewriter at the age of ten. But as the interview began, he thumbed through a copy of my paper, threw it down with disgust, then proclaimed an oath of undeniable value:

“There isn’t much advertising in here.”

I was crestfallen. He made no comment on the quality of my work. Or about the variety of publications that had printed my material. Instead, he brought out a copy of his own newspaper. Above the fold was a color photo of a duck.

“Do you know why this bird is here?”

I had no clue. He stared into my eyes with the cold analysis of a college professor, then answered his own question.

“Because it sells the paper!”

I nodded acceptance. No other reaction seemed reasonable. He’d had a long career in journalism that resounded throughout the Northcoast. His own column, in the Sunday edition of his paper, consisted of tales about dining with the celebrated elite of Lake and Cuyahoga County. No one could argue that his words carried merit earned through many years of service.

I left the interview stunned and bewildered.

My column was called ‘Thoughts At Large.’ It continued to run for over a dozen more years. With each installment, his words continued to echo.

“No market! There is no market for a column like yours!”

As a business manager at my ‘real job’ I secretly suspected that this sage steward of journalism was correct. Though readers often remarked that they enjoyed reading my columns, I knew that subscription fees did little to prop up the company bottom line. Ad revenue was the lifeblood of our paper. More important than original content, by far. More important than the bruised ego of a wandering scribe.

Later, when I served as sports editor at another weekly, while still writing for the first, my publisher observed that these reports could be written by a computer program. Hearing this admonition returned me to my humbled state from before. He pulled out a drawer from his desk:

“See all these resumes? I can hire staff anytime they are needed. There is no shortage of people wanting to write stories for this paper.”

I knew he was correct. Even if admitting the truth negated my own existence as a wordsmith. Once again, the experience I gained as a manager held sway.

A career reassessment seemed reasonable. I decided to make a sideways move into the world of authorship and publish my first book. I had learned editing and paginaton skills while running the sports desk in Ashtabula County. Now, those abilities proved useful in creating a retrospective of the first ten years yielded from my personal column.

The ‘Thoughts At Large’ book proved to be a weighty endeavor. But I was learning by doing. My favorite sort of educational study. I sorted through a consequential backlog of material, on paper, floppy disk and CD-R. The project grew to include diverse inspirations. Everyone from my own father to Cleveland music icon Dennis Chandler.

Only then did I encounter a new and unexpected challenge – trying to sell the product. I had spent years learning how to pursue the craft of creative writing, But actually promoting the book for purchase? That presented an obstacle for which I had not been prepared.

My lack of used-car hucksterism could not be hidden. I needed to vend the volume for $25.00 to make any money. Those familiar with the series had no problem paying this price. But for others who were new to the world of Geauga-centric prose, this presented a steep challenge.

I struggled to recoup my costs.

After five finished titles, I had learned a great deal about the raw science involved in publishing a book. The discipline was not completely unfamiliar. I pegged hopes on a low cover price and attractive graphics. The ‘swan song’ of this odyssey was my creation ‘Biker Lifestyle – And Beyond’ which collected stories I had written in the 1980’s for a California monthly associated with custom motorcycles. Biker Lifestyle Magazine. Edited and published by a former bodyguard for Evel Knievel who wrote under the name of ‘Bob Bitchin.’ It seemed likely that the subject matter might be interesting to visitors who frequented Geneva-on-the-Lake during summer months. And I was only a short distance away, in Thompson.

I set the cover price low enough to attract readers eager for an impulse buy. No more than a meal would cost at McDonald’s.

But yet again, I was reminded of the advice I had received before:

“There is no market for a column like yours.”

The ‘biker’ collection sold a few copies, but failed to ignite in monetary terms as I had expected. Friends wanted the issue for free. The Internet had schooled them well with the idea of zero-cost content. I went through a hundred of the books without generating much profit. Like my earlier projects, it was more valuable as a learning experience than a run-for-hire.

I bowed my head as this exercise came to an end.

My thought was to exit with grace after ‘BL-AB’ had been issued. But then, I became unemployed again, an all-too-frequent happening in the household. Suddenly, I had free time.

Lots of free time.

Thus, ‘Words on the Loose’ was born as a fresh adventure into column composition. I also created the Geauga Independent, an online newspaper that had only existed as a stillborn idea in years gone by. Fate, it seemed, was more powerful than intention. My plans were scattered. But a greater fulfillment of self awaited on the horizon.

My column for which there was ‘no market’ would live to see another day.

Postscript: Yahoo! Tech April 3, 2017 - “Washington (AFP) More than half of the jobs at US newspapers have disappeared since 2001, with a large portion of the losses offset by by employment gains at Internet firms, government figures showed Monday. The data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics showed US newspaper employment fell from 412,000 in January 2001, to 174,000 in September 2016.”

Comments about ‘Words on the Loose’ may be sent to: icewritesforyou@gmail.com

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Published weekly in the Geauga Independent